A philosophical quesion about marriage
I consider marriage between a man and a woman to be one of life’s most significant and ennobling relationships, perhaps on par with a person’s relationship with God (if not at least deeply intertwined), and the foundation upon which loving and happy families are created. To form such a relationship is one of my most earnest desires; to raise children in a nurturing and loving home is a close runner up. I am of the opinion, however, that single people my age are generally rather undecided about what they are looking for in a future marriage partner, if they are seeking marriage at all. In truth, I sense that most single people my age are largely uncertain about what they are seeking from life itself, which is troubling and potentially tragic (although, outwardly at least, some appear not to mind the uncertainty too much). For such people, I wholeheartedly recommend they investigate The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But I digress 🙂 To a certain degree, I am also such a young person lacking in wisdom in matters of dating and marriage.
I am of the opinion that two of the most important factors in the health and happiness of a relationship are 1) character (what a person is – I would also call this personality) and 2) behavior (what a person does). I think behavior is obviously important, as it is the actual bridging of two unique individuals, but also that it is largely, although incompletely, determined by the involved personalities. Put another way, I believe that people ought to determine not only what kinds of behaviors they approve of in a relationship, but also to recognize the underlying characteristics which tend to produce such behaviors in an individual.
I believe that certain types of personality matches are more natural and comfortable than others, but I also believe that there are matches which, although not as comfortable, involve a melding of different complementary traits to the effect of creating a dynamic pair. I can see pros and cons to each matching, as well as the possibility of having the best of both worlds – a comfortable match with complementary differences. But this is the question which I’d like my married readers in particular to answer if they would: which is ultimately more important, to have a comfortable match or a complementary match? Or is my creation of such a dichotomy misleading and unnecessary? 😉