Musings on Mormonism

An Important Shift in my Social Paradigm

It really hit me today: unless I change the way I think about dating, I’m going to be a sad little single guy my whole life, or at least for years to come. First a little background. Recently, I’ve been reading “The Color Code” by Taylor Hartman, which outlines the very interesting personality color theory which, despite not having any psychometric research to back it up, is nevertheless incredibly accurate and compelling. So, I’ve been reading what Dr. Hartman has to say about my main personality color, blue, and I’ve been amazed at how well his description fits me. To sum it up, blue personalities are motivated by intimacy, and they care so much about sincerity and being good rather than just seeming good that they tend to have perfectionistic expectancies for themselves and others. Wow, that is me! So anyway, I’ve been really unsatisfied with my social life for quite some time because I can’t seem to meet people who reach the pinnacle of awesomely cool perfection that I now recognize as being an impossibly high expectation. As it turns out, if you don’t want to have friends, you can either not work to become sufficiently cool, or you can be like me and consider yourself too cool to have any friends. Neither one of those scenarios is good, but fortunately neither one is an inescapable death sentence either. Realistically, I can’t develop close friendships with everyone, because quite naturally there are people with whom I can develop friendships more readily than others, but for those people who I’ve traditionally viewed as “Yeah, he/she’s cool, but he/she’s not quite perfect enough”, I think I ought to jump at the opportunity to get to know him or her better. I used to be the guy with the childlike twinkle in his eye and a zest for life, but I feel like I’ve become a jaded anti-socialite; I’d really like to turn that around!


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  1. * Vicki says:

    I think all of us have these exact same thoughts in different times in our lives. Unfortunately life doesn’t get any better until out own attitudes change for the better. Yes, there is a large amount of superficiality out there, but all in all, the more you get to know another, the more they will open up and you’ll get the know the real person. There was a time not too long ago that I felt I was above them all, and that attitude actually brought isolation and lonliness into my life. I had a friend indirectly bring this to my attention and I took the time to self reflect and change for the better. By the way, that friend of mine is cute and single and more than a few times I’ve thought you two would make a great couple. Want her number?

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 10 months ago

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