A Manifesto March 11, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Freedom, Personal.5 comments
Yes, I do still write in this blog, but have been sans internet for the last (exceptionally long and grueling) week. And now it’s back! Ahhhhhh…
So, today was remarkable for some liberating experiences and ideas I had. You see, for the past few months I have felt like a captive to my circumstances. Stuck in between a lack of marketable skills and near-certain grad school in the fall (during which I intend not to work), I have been in a strange sort of employment limbo. Currently, I am interning at a think tank (interning anywhere is a great way to stay impoverished), and doing tutoring on the side. It is exhausting, perhaps emotionally more than anything else, as my expenses keep piling up and my income stays pretty low. It has definitely affected my spirits and my happiness, and probably the quality of my relationships as well (I always try to put a high priority on keeping these healthy, but when you’re stretched too thin, some facets of life inevitably suffer).
I do think these circumstances, while far from ideal, are fairly short-term… or are they? My parents have recently expressed concern not just for my current poorness, but for my possible long-term poorness as well. “Not to worry,” I tell them, “with a public policy degree you can work in the private sector, too!” (never mind that I have always found such a notion basically unappealing). Looking at the employment data some schools have provided prospective students like myself, it is certainly true that those people coming out of a Masters of Public Policy program who work in the private sector make pretty good money, and those who work in the public sector fare pretty well too (no comment on those in non-profit). However, such practical concerns have gotten me thinking more critically about my career plans, and I am starting to wonder if I have made a mistake about choosing public policy. I don’t think I have, necessarily. However, as I have languished as a poor intern, subservient to “the man”, I have come to a few conclusions, the consequences of which I am still figuring out.
Conclusion 1: Life is better when you have money. Or perhaps I should put it this way – not having money generally makes life harder. Now, this may be glaringly obvious to the majority of people reading this, but for me it has taken some time, and some pretty indigent circumstances, to sink in. Half of my heritage is of the “genteel poor” variety – well-educated but not particularly rich. And my dad, never one to let an astute observation gather dust, has often noted the Goodwin tendency to be “satisficers” rather than “maximizers” (my mom perhaps being an outlier in this regard. Chairman Mao would be very proud of her “redness” – her tenacity and indomitable fighting spirit). What I am getting at is that concerns about money and material things have tended to rank a little low on my list of priorities – but that is changing quite rapidly. And the truth is, the more I think about that wife and children I want so much, the more attractive having money becomes, because I want them to have security and nice things (reasonably nice things, that is. Frugality is not going out of style with me any time soon).
Conclusion 2: Having a surplus allows me to bless others. This is related to the above conclusion. Recently in an LDS institute class, I learned about the Law of Consecration which, in past practice at least, has entailed being a good and productive steward over your private property, and willingly giving your surplus (whatever you’ve produced beyond your needs) to an honest, wise, and inspired Church leader to deliberately dispense to those in need. When practiced faithfully and righteously, it leads to more productive outcomes than socialism, and more equitable outcomes than capitalism. Historically, my disinterest in accumulating wealth has stemmed in part from a desire to focus instead on the immaterial needs of people – needing to be loved, to have friends, to be understood and supported emotionally and spiritually, to be encouraged and urged forward, and even to be enlivened and entertained. Although I am not abandoning my efforts to address these needs in my service to others, I also recognize the importance of addressing their material needs (and frankly, I do think the two types of needs are connected in somewhat subtle but important ways). Simply put, if I want to help people materially, and I do, I must first have my own surplus of material things to offer.
Conclusion 3: I have been given certain talents and abilities and should not let them go unused in pursuit of my righteous desires (in fact, without utilizing them, my biggest, most daring desires are probably unattainable). Currently, the American economy bites, and it appears it will get much worse before it gets better. Nevertheless, I still believe opportunities abound here like almost nowhere else. The trick, or a trick, at least, is to muster the ingenuity to come up with some good or service which I am uniquely qualified to offer which carries value in the marketplace. Thus, although my current career plan, a default of sorts, is to do policy research and analysis, I’m thinking it’s probably not my final career destination by a long shot. In fact, for the first time ever, I am seriously considering adding business to my educational plate and even, at the urging of my parents, am re-considering pursuing law (but I still get the feeling that, as a lawyer, I would feel confined and unhappy, and I worry that certain of my unique talents would be more of a hindrance than an advantage). I believe that a business background would open up a lot of options, a law degree also, but to a lesser extent. And I think options, or rather, the freedom to innovate is especially important to a guy like me. But who knows? For all my big talk, perhaps I will end up a bureaucrat behind some desk, yet somehow (hopefully!) find a relatively fulfilling way to use my talents for good while also providing well for a family. I am reluctant to be too idealistic when faced with the pragmatic concerns of some day raising a family; I am definitely an optimist, but cautiously so 
My manifesto, in summary, is this: I am going to be more bold and more practical in developing and advancing my educational and career goals. Also, I am going to stop being so darn poor!
You Can’t Control for Happiness February 16, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Human Relationships, Personal.9 comments
I seem to be entering a new phase in my interpersonal relationships here in DC, and I like it. Perhaps it is not a new phase so much as an old phase revisited after having acquired greater insight and maturity through experience. Either way, I think I can best summarize the new emphasis in this way: chill out and enjoy life and the people around you. In large part, this shift has been possible because of the friendships I’ve been able to form with my neighbors, who are a great bunch of girls. Associating with them helps me be a better and happier person, plus their house is a lot less ghetto than mine. In a way, it is like having a family again – although incomplete, there are discernible parallels, for which I am very grateful. I feel that my social life in DC up until now has been more solitary and self-centered than is healthy, but it is starting to turn around as I am now able to enjoy a greater sense of community.
This city seems to attract people who are preoccupied with being in control, and mostly sub-consciously. I don’t necessarily mean self-control, which I think is a virtue, but rather being in control of all situations, the desire to be the one pulling the strings instead of the one whose strings are pulled. I do not think this inclination is all bad, and certainly I think it is understandable for all who live in this dangerous and uncertain fallen world. Nevertheless, I think preoccupation with being in control stunts our personal growth and curbs our happiness, and I think it is something we all grapple with to one degree or another.
I think preoccupation with control is a particular hindrance for developing healthy interpersonal relationships and sharing the gospel (two things which are closely related and, as I see it, require many of the same skills and attributes for success). Both require a sincere sharing of thoughts and feelings in a context of respect and love. Also, both must be done with a respect for individual choice, and certainly cannot be forced. It seems to me that love, openness of thought and feeling, and a respect for the freedom to choose can clash very much with being in control. However, ultimately the fruits of the former are so much sweeter than the fruits of the latter. Yet, relinquishing control in these two areas of life, as necessary, is easier said than done. It requires patience, trust, and a certain calm inner strength and confidence which can seem quite elusive (but is, fortunately, even more attainable in this life than we may realize). Also, it requires that we put forth an effort to offer something precious and valuable (our friendship or the gospel) without expectations for recompense or fear of failure. In other words, that we give people an opportunity to act and accept an invitation, that we do the right thing, without worrying too much about the consequences.
Anyway, these are just a few of my abstract thoughts on the matter. What do you think?
A few songs I’ve been listening to lately (with discussion) February 9, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Faith, Music.4 comments
I can picture my dad’s first response upon reading the title: “What, Bryce’s jungle music? Sorry, I’ve got my Wagner. I wonder what’s going on at The Beaglespot…” In truth, I don’t really blame him – sharing what music we’re listening to with the entire world strikes me as a particularly self-indulgent internet activity (am I being too cynical here? Probably). However, I manage to justify it by thinking:
a) I’m just promoting music that I think is praiseworthy and of good report (obviously an extremely subjective thing – again, Dad’s probably thinking “Praiseworthy? Dvořák is praiseworthy, not whoever this Travis fellow is”)
b) beyond aesthetics, such as a good melody or harmony, it’s possible for music to communicate worthwhile messages and ideas in a unique and powerful way. Perhaps someone reading this post might come away with something of value.
c) maybe people find my interests more interesting than I think
and lastly,
d) who knows? Maybe I’ll help introduce someone to some music they end up liking, and also have something new to bond over (that’s what happened with Bob introducing me to Rush. Now we can always reminisce about Rand-inspired lyrics and Geddy Lee’s oh-so distinct voice)
So, here are some songs I really like:
Mates of State – My Only Offer
The two band members of Mates of State are a married couple, which I think is, if you’ll pardon me for being sentimental, incredibly cute and romantic. I’m not sure what this song is about – something along the lines of feeling stifled by suburban family life, I’m guessing – but regardless, I really like the music, especially their harmonies.
U2 – Miracle Drug
(unfortunately, this video refuses to be embedded, so here’s the link)
Although my musical tastes have shifted away from U2 and become somewhat more sophisticated over the last few years, I’ve still got to hand it to them for writing songs with heart and soul. I’d heard this song many times before, and just assumed it was about Africa (Bono being quite the advocate for aid and development in Africa), but really didn’t know anything else about it. But just today I discovered their explanation for the song, which, if you didn’t catch it in the video, is this:
Bono: “We all went to the same school and just as we were leaving, a fellow called Christopher Nolan arrived. He had been deprived of oxygen for two hours when he was born, so he was paraplegic. But his mother believed he could understand what was going on and used to teach him at home. Eventually, they discovered a drug that allowed him to move one muscle in his neck. So they attached this unicorn device to his forehead and he learned to type. And out of him came all these poems that he’d been storing up in his head. Then he put out a collection called Dam-Burst of Dreams, which won a load of awards and he went off to university and became a genius. All because of a mother’s love and a medical breakthrough.”
Totally awesome. “Of science and the human heart, there is no limit” – I really believe that, especially because I think God is involved in both. And with God in the picture, there are truly no limits.
Eisley – Telescope Eyes
No big story here, I just really like the song. Like with Mates of State, Eisley has some great harmonies. Also, I love the drum fill at 2:09 – simple but cool! The words seem to deal with alienation as a nerdy kid, something I totally cannot relate to!
…ok, I was a nerdy kid (and in some ways I still am), but I was fortunate to grow up in a great place with lots of great friends.
and last on the list,
The Fray – You Found Me
(ditto on embedding issues – here’s the link)
Singer Isaac Slade’s explanation:
“You Found Me” is a tough song for me. Its about the disappointment, the heart ache, the let down that comes with life. Sometimes you’re let down, sometimes you’re the one who lets someone else down. It gets hard to know who you can trust, who you can count on. This song came out of a tough time, and I’m still right in the thick of it. There’s some difficult circumstances my family and friends have been going through over the past year or so and can be overwhelming. It wears on me. It demands so much of my faith to keep believing, keep hoping in the unseen. Sometimes the tunnel has a light at the end, but usually they just look black as night. This song is about that feeling, and the hope that I still have, buried deep in my chest.”
And in another interview:
“I kept getting these phone calls from home – tragedy after tragedy… If there is some kind of person in charge of this planet – are they sleeping? Smoking? Where are they? I just imagined running into God standing on a street corner like Bruce Springsteen, smoking a cigarette, and I’d have it out with him.”
[the following commentary is fairly lengthy]
Struggles with faith in a world of difficulty and doubt – is there anyone on the planet who has not grappled with such a ponderous topic? Having gone through plenty of my own dark days and watched so many others go through theirs, this is something with which I am well-acquainted. Incidentally, this universality of discouragement and tested faith among man is the topic of the most recent book by Michael Novak (for whom I intern at AEI), No One Sees God, which I have yet to really get into, but basically posits that believers and non-believers alike experience uncertainty and even darkness in this life. It’s not a particularly happy notion to dwell on, but the reality is that we can only hide behind good times and sunshine philosophies for so long – life, being quite long and sometimes treacherous, leaves no person untested in this regard (and that by design; more on that later) – and if we are already in the thick of it, then it is a fact of our existence which we cannot ignore, although we may try to get it resolved as cleanly and painlessly as we can (e.g. just stop believing in God*) or else busy our lives with distractions in the material world**.
“Where were you when everything was falling apart?”, or, uniquely familiar to Latter-day Saints, “Oh God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” (Doctrine & Covenants 121) The truth is that, to varying degrees, we are all separated from God. Even the Savior Himself, during the most heroic and transcendent act in human history, was left without God’s presence for a time (Matthew 27:46). But only for a time! I believe that we all have periods of time, brief in the eternities but interminable here in mortality, wherein we feel that God has taken a vacation, that somehow, even though we thought Him to be loving and omnipotent, He has somehow stopped either caring or having the means to do anything to help us. These periods of affliction may be the direct result of our own unwise choices, they may be the result of the choices of others, or they may have no clear cause whatsoever. But no matter how dire our circumstances, nor their origins, both of the above conclusions about the nature of God are, and will always be, false. God does exist, and He is involved in our lives in ways that are remarkable, although typically easily overlooked. Very often, he works through other people to send His love and assistance. And He does love us – but that is an understatement. He is thoroughly invested in us and unwaveringly dedicated to our growth and happiness, even during our trials and afflictions***.
“No One Sees God” is a mostly accurate statement – it has some very notable exceptions, however (Genesis 32:30; Exodus 24:11 and 33:11; Matthew 5:8; and Acts 7:55-56, to name a few) . Yet, actual visual confirmation of God’s existence ought not to be the issue, as wonderful as sight and the other physical senses are. What is important is that God chooses witnesses who can testify for themselves of God’s true nature and reality, and then share how we can each know for ourselves. Finding out for ourselves – that is the real issue! The process is not complicated, but it requires instruction in true principles, patience, and trust and confidence that God can and will give you an answer. One more thing – it require deliberate effort, earnestly doing the right things with the right motives, such as prayer, study of the scriptures, and applying true principles in your life. When we do these things, God sees our earnest efforts, however imperfect, and does respond!
But back to the original topic, wondering where God is during our hard times, I offer these concluding thoughts. First, just because we don’t sense Him right now doesn’t mean He is not still closely involved in our lives. Second, if we don’t sense Him, we ought to examine ourselves to see if we are leaving any room for Him, or if we are making a conscious, faithful effort to invite Him to participate. God respects our freedom to choose, and will not force Himself into our lives no matter how much He yearns to bless us. But, as Jesus taught plainly, when we seek and ask, our loving Heavenly Father answers generously (Matthew 7:7-11).
Finally, even if we are basically doing things right, we may still be tested and stretched to our limits. The story of Job comes to mind as a prime example (Job 1:1). Yet, like Job, we may have, or develop through our trials, the kind of faith that “when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10) While a student at BYU, I saw a quote posted in someone’s office which I have not been able to find since (so I cannot confirm its authenticity, nor convey it perfectly), but which I found to be incredibly profound and thought-provoking. In essence it said this: there are certain challenges we face in this life, which, although unprecedented to us in their intensity, are absolutely essential in motivating and enabling us to truly come to Jesus Christ. This rang true for me then, and it rings true to me still. Jesus is our Savior, and through his gospel we may become bound to his infinite merits and receive the greatest of all gifts, eternal life with our Heavenly Father and our families. However, to be so bound requires faith, not a vague and passive belief or even a half-hearted commitment to basically live a “good” life and do a lot of “good” things – these are a good start, but they are nowhere near what is needed. What we need is living, active, courageous faith, where we have drawn our line in the sand and our allegiance to and trust in the Lord is so complete that it cannot be called into question, even in the midst of adversity and uncertainty. This faith takes much effort and time to develop, and it inevitably requires, I believe, the suffering of those certain particularly grueling trials, not to discourage us and make us miserable, but to show us who Christ is, what He has done, what He can and will do for us as we draw closer to Him. Such trials are unique in their potential to facilitate that deep and abiding faith which will empower us to truly follow Christ, withholding nothing of ourselves. It is my experience and testimony that Christ has the power to turn all things to our good, and that, as he passed through the dark and rose from the grave in triumph and glory, with His grace we too may rise from the gloom and ashes of our afflictions, rising to ever greater heights. Perhaps most miraculous of all, through Christ, the awful, but temporary, misery and suffering through which we wade in this life will be replaced with matchless and enduring love and joy – experienced fully in the eternities, but even found in unexpected abundance here in the present!
*to be clear, I am not endorsing this option
**I don’t recommend this either, although I am sympathetic to the plight from which it arises. It tends to promote the tragic assumption that such spiritual matters are unimportant and not worth the fight
***I have seen some glimpse of this absolute and loving dedication to one’s beloved children in my own mother. She is Asian, and thus culturally prone to heavy involvement in her children’s lives in the first place, but I can say with confidence that she has spared no effort to make her children her absolute #1 priority. And I appreciate it
A personal loss, and other assorted happenings February 1, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Just For Fun, Music, Personal, Politics.9 comments
A piece of me died yesterday. Yes, I am talking about my lower left molar. After a year of neglecting my damaged tooth (out of lack of funds and insurance), it finally started to really hurt this past Monday, thus necessitating an urgent trip to the dentist. Now, I count it a matter of divine providence that one of my home teachers* just happens to be a dental student who was able to connect me with a fellow student who was available to help me out on short notice for a reasonable price**. Well, as it turns out, I need a root canal, which they started yesterday by removing most of the soft tissue in my tooth (the technical term used was “scoop out”), and temporarily capping the gaping hole until we can schedule another appointment. I left feeling relieved, groggy and ugly (anesthesia and lying at an unusual angle for hours leave you feeling and looking like Quasimodo), and very grateful. I do have regrets, however:
1) I wish I had somehow addressed this sooner so that I could keep my tooth alive (a root canal basically kills all living tissue in the tooth and turns it into a dried out husk which retains its chewing ability). I prefer my body parts to be living, thank you very much.
2) I wish I had had some way of watching what they were doing in there! It’s not every day you get to see the inside of a tooth – I wonder what the nerves look like?
In other news, I took the GRE on Monday, and it went so much better than the first time (also, it was thankfully after the GRE and not before that my tooth started hurting). It leaves me much more competitive for getting into the grad schools I’m looking at, George Washington being my top pick. Unfortunately, I dropped the ball on applying to Georgetown, whose deadline is very soon - it occurred to me this week that they require 3 letters of recommendation, and I only have 2. Boooo! Even now, I’m debating whether to try and find an emergency recommender to make my application complete. On the other side of the debate, however, I’m trying to console myself with thoughts like “you didn’t want to go there anyway”, or “it’s really expensive there”, or my personal favorite, “the location is really inconvenient”. Still, I am no quitter, and I have a hard time just rolling over and accepting defeat (admittedly largely self-inflicted defeat).
Anyway, one more topic, and then I’ve got to get going on those grad school apps. Last night, I was quite fortunate to go to a Rock Band 2 party, and it was awesome! Family, you’d better believe I played “Carry On Wayward Son”, although with the throng of people there, I didn’t get a chance to try some old favorites (“That means no Rush,” Bob nods knowingly). The emergence of Rock Band and Guitar Hero have been a big boon in my life; they channel my nerdy love of music and video games into an outlet which is not only more socially acceptable but also tons of fun! But you know, it also gets me thinking about whether party games like these are merely “childish things” which I will have to give up when I eventually get married and start a family. My money is on “yes”, and if so, I’m certainly willing to do it. Nevertheless, I often wonder how marriage will affect my lifestyle, specifically my approach to fun (which I think is more important to me than most – as discussed previously, it is an important recreative outlet for me). But who knows? Until I have to cross that bridge, I guess I’ll continue to enjoy Rock Band parties.
One more thing: I’m unable to attend the Sunstone Symposium this weekend (Sunstone is an organization which does scholarly work on Mormon thought and culture – not officially affiliated with the Church, but at least intriguing to guys like me). If anyone reading this attended the symposium or has thoughts about Sunstone, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I mean, Sunstone ain’t General Conference, but I’m interested to know what thoughtful people in the Church are discussing (I’m guessing I would have a lot to disagree with, but also surely many points of agreement). Also, I really wanted to see the documentary Nobody Knows: The Untold Story of Black Mormons; perhaps I’ll have to wait until it’s on DVD 
Like an ugly Senate bill***, I’m attaching one more thing to this post – a video of “Limelight” by Rush. They rock!
*for those unfamiliar with the LDS Church, home teachers are the first line of support and assistance provided for each family, even families of one like mine.
**as an aside, have you ever noticed how a larger than normal proportion of dentists are really, really nice and pleasant people? A profession that requires digging around in people’s mouths must favor a certain easygoing, pleasant temperament. It gratefully makes dental work relatively less unpleasant.
***According to a friend of mine who works for a Congressman, the recent stimulus bill for which none/almost none of the Republicans voted contained lots of pet projects attached, such as spending $60 million to re-sod the National Mall. I suppose it needs to be done some time, but $60 million, in a stimulus bill? It will stimulate the sodding industry, I suppose.
Be Nice to Introverts January 29, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Human Relationships, Personality.4 comments
My sister at Mishtown recently posted a link to an article in the Atalntic, Caring for Your Introvert. It will probably remind you of people you know – or it might even end up describing yourself!
I liked the article and thought is was generally correct about a number of things. However, I think there is much more to personality than just introversion and extroversion (in fact, this is a dead horse I feel I have beaten again and again on this blog and in conversation, so I will try to make my comments here brief). Take myself for instance. Introverts probably comprise the majority of my closest friends, as well as probably three quarters of my immediate family*, and, while I have a surprising capacity for being friendly and upbeat, overall I am also an introvert (about 60%, I’d say). But it’s tricky – I really like people, and in the right circumstances I find interaction with them to be quite energizing, fulfilling, and fun. I also have a habit – which I’m sure many find perplexing if not annoying – of thinking out loud. Nevertheless, I think at my core I am an introvert. However, I do take some issue with the author’s assertion that introversion is an immutable orientation. Or rather, what I really take issue with is the temptation to conclude that, because introversion is innate, people are thus incapable of adapting and even changing**. And of course, this is very similar to the objection I most hear about these personality theories – that they reduce people into overly-simplistic caricatures incapable of adaptation and growth. I think this criticism is somewhat deserved, but I also think these theories (certain of them, that is) can at least offer some sort of threshold for understanding and appreciating the differences among us in the present.
*Aside from Mom and Tiff, probably everyone, including spouses, huh?
**not that I am the undisputed life of the party, but you’d better believe I wasn’t always as outgoing and confident in social situations as I am now. My mission in particular did wonders for helping me become more outgoing, as did simply gaining confidence about myself and my abilities during my college years.
The value of play January 25, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Human Relationships, Personal.2 comments
“Life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labor, sleep, and recreation…all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity, never idleness.”
-Brigham Young
On the surface, this advice sounds both appealing and quite reasonable. Then I thought, “Wait, does he mean that if we’re not working or sleeping we ought to be playing? For 8 hours?!”* To better understand, a definition of “recreation” is clearly needed, or else more insight into the historical and cultural context in which Brother Brigham was speaking. But whatever he exactly meant by “recreation” (I think it could mean a number of things), it is clear that he considered it as important as work and sleep. The exact proportions prescribed by Brigham may be near-impossible to arrange in today’s working world – both recreation and sleep have been increasingly sacrificed for more time at the office or in commute, and seriously, there seems to be about a hundred non-recreative tasks pulling at us when we’re not sleeping or working (although that may be of our own doing to some degree or another). Nevertheless, the main idea behind the quote -that sleep, work, and play should be kept in balance for a happy and productive life – is still very applicable. For a guy who is fairly ambitious and driven but also wary of missing out on opportunities to ponder, laugh, relax, serve, converse, and otherwise build and enjoy relationships with others**, this advice is especially encouraging.
Recently, I have been thinking about the function that laughter, humor, and play serve in my life. Although it is closely related to laughter, I think humor deserves its own separate discussion another time, because its role seems to be more ubiquitous and subtle, so I will focus just on the other two. I think that laughter and play help fulfill a number of practical purposes for me, from greasing the wheels of (in some cases awkward) social situations, to facilitating the creation and deepening of relationships, to maintaining a healthy, optimistic perspective on life. However, and thankfully so, laughter and play are also very recreative for me***. I agree with Brigham that recreation is “rebuilding” (in fact, I just looked up the definition of “recreation” and -duh!- it literally means to re-create), it regenerates us, freshens our spirits, and helps us be the kinds of people others would actually want to spend time with. It almost goes without saying that my preferred brand of recreation, fun and play, can be overdone, or else done in the wrong way (the above quote seems to suggest that it ought to be conscious and purposeful, not just a withdrawal from activity), and thus deserves some discipline and consideration. When handled correctly, however, I think laughter and play are some of the most sublime manifestations of the joy we are meant to experience in this life (see 2 Nephi 2:25).****
And now on a more personal note, today I ran into a post on 1000 Awesome Things (which, btw, is a blog title and idea which makes me jealous I didn’t think of it first) talking about classic board games, and it got me thinking about all the good times I’ve had with family and friends. Here are a few that stick out in my mind:
1) Playing Dance With Intensity, the open source PC knock-off of Dance Dance Revolution. Certain friends, such as the Brymers, have at times joined us in getting our dance on. “Peanut Butter & Jelly” and the Lemming Song will always have a special place in my heart (and, uh, feet?). You guys remember those? What were some other good ones?
2) Playing Boggle competitively. Now, the athleticism genes passed over us Goodwin kids for the most part (my humble claim to athletic ability is that I can play a pretty good game of racquetball, but I’m no master, nor do I love it). When it comes to board games, though, that’s where our nerdy competitive spirit comes out. I like to think that I pretty much clean house whenever we play Boggle, although my brother Bob has always been a worthy opponent (just thinking about his gleeful discovery of “nabob” still makes me chuckle).
3) Playing assorted brainy Bob-games. The Provo branch of the Goodwins/Larsens sure had a heyday with such great games as Puerto Rico, Carcasonne, Bang!, and Ra for that year or so we were together. I love how we had to plan our game-playing around Ellie’s sleep schedule on account of all those delicious-looking pieces! I also love pretending I can pronounce Italian words. Also, Pixie Pete is cheap.
4) The isolated game of Monopoly where I stayed in jail for turns on end to avoid losing money. Things were getting pretty hairy towards the end of that game, so I considered it good fortune to be sent to jail – and even better fortune to get away with spending turn after turn, well beyond the 3-turn maximum, safe behind prison bars. I loved feigning disappointment as, yet again!, I failed to roll doubles. Eventually someone, I think Scott, caught on, and I was punished with liberation. But I still look back on that as a moment of great gaming triumph in my life
What are some others I’ve missed? Please share!
*LDS footnote: obviously, I place a higher priority on the counsel of living prophets, but of course I think wisdom can be gleaned from figures of the past as well.
**in fact, these may be the ways in which I personally define “recreation”
***this is somewhat odd, since, overall, I am more of an introvert than an extrovert – something I plan to address in my next post.
****I can’t help but think of children when I talk of laughter, play, and joy. The fact that children seem most apt at laughter and play is a large part of the reason I think they are wonderful. The joy they seem to bring to their parents makes the work, occasional frustration, and sacrifice well, well worth it in the end – not to mention that parenthood in itself is perhaps the most noble calling one may have in this life, and thus worthwhile in its own right.
Hero Worship January 18, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Christianity, Faith, Human Relationships, Joseph Smith, Personal.4 comments
[This one is pretty long, and might seem a little boring or irrelevant to the casual reader. But if you're curiosity's piqued, please read on!]
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. For some reason, in fact, in the mornings I sometimes find myself waking up and thinking, practically first thing, “Man, I should really write about hero worship!” Here’s how I think it started:
I recently began interning at a think tank, where I work in close proximity with some pretty prominent people. Among the list of people I would love to meet while there are Newt Gingrich, Christina Hoff Sommers, and Greg Mankiw (whose econ textbook I found so enjoyable that I forewent a pretty generous sell-back price to keep it). The other day, while helping stuff envelopes for an event (a very glamorous task), I encountered some other famous names you’d definitely recognize if you ever watched the news.* Now, it’s pretty easy to get drunk on the thrill of celebrity (or, in my case, mere distant association to celebrity), but for me, at least, the intoxication is relatively short-lived and unfulfilling.** As Peggy Noonan recently wrote in the Wall Street Journal, even US presidents are merely men: “We hire them, we fire them, they come back for photo-ops. They’re not magic.”***
Nevertheless, there seems to be a common yearning for heroes and leaders. There is an apparent demand for people who will show us the way, those we can look up to with admiration and expectation. On such people, we seem to place our hopes – hopes of deliverance from our difficulties, from danger, insecurity, our own weakness and shortcomings, purposelessness, loneliness. I do not think this yearning for leaders is inappropriate – in fact, I think it is a very natural by-product of our experience as mortals separated from our Heavenly Father. However, I think it is important, as Peggy Noonan has suggested, not to place undue expectations on people who are, notwithstanding their great talents and accomplishments as leader and role models, still just people. Furthermore, we ought to be careful not to divest ourselves of personal accountability and place it on the shoulders of these “great people”; their role ought to be to aid and encourage us and not, with one very notable exception, to save us.
That said, I’d like to laud certain people who have made, and continue to make, a huge and positive impact in my life, who have earned my admiration and inspired me to greater heights. This is not an exhaustive list – I’ve been abundantly blessed with countless wonderful people who have left their mark in my life, but these are the ones that stand out most clearly. “They’re not magic,” but by small means they have done great things for me.
1) Dr. Michael Murdock: one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, and certainly one of the more strangely charismatic ones. Despite his huge intellect and exacting academic standards, behind the layers Dr. Murdock is generous and, although it may surprise some, quite gentle and kind. He helped me make big improvements in my thinking and writing (still plenty of room for improvement though!), and helped me discover that I really like history after all. Also, he went beyond the call of duty by being a very patient listening ear as I tried to chart my academic course.
2) Dr. Edwin Gantt: he did a great service for me, and continues to do a great service for the students of BYU by teaching psychology from a perspective that takes religion (particularly, but not exclusively, the religion of the Latter-day Saints) seriously. This is an uncommon practice in the social sciences, especially psychology. Along with Dr. Slife, another great professor, he helped me recognize the assumptions and perspectives (certain of which are tragically misleading, if not spiritually dangerous) currently prevalent in the behavioral sciences, and to recognize some alternative views and assumptions which are just as viable. With insight, enthusiasm, and a great sense of humor, Dr. Gantt is helping prepare LDS scholars to enter the professional world without compromising their membership in the kingdom.****
3) Bishop Kerry Morgan: it seems like he was my bishop in Oregon for a long time, but I think that is because he was a true and loving friend to me in- and outside of his tenure as bishop. He is a true Christian who has gone the extra mile for me and countless others.
4) Dr. Valerie Hudson: she, along with Dr. Bowen, another wonderful woman, not only introduced me to the complex, fascinating world of women’s issues but also to political science (I had never taken a Poli Sci course before taking theirs). Thankfully, they did it in a way that was bold and forthright, yet thoughtful, loving, and full of faith. Dr. Hudson is a big hero(ine) in my eyes – not just because she is kicking butt on a regular basis to improve the lives of women and children around the world, but because that is not even close her first priority, but rather secondary to her cherished role as a wife and mother. She has continued to work and teach not because she prefers it to the work of home and family, but unselfishly and for a different reason entirely. One who champions womanhood institutionally and especially in the home earns a place at the top of my list. Which takes me to my next person…
5) My beloved Mom! She is such a delightful, wonderful woman, that merely talking to her on the phone refreshes my spirits and gladdens my heart! Intensely and lovingly committed to her children, it would be impossible for me not to love her in return. She has been a tremendous source of strength and encouragement in my life. My mom is a born leader with an iron will (she’s mellowed out over the years, fortunately) and a heart of gold who finds her greatest joy in serving others. I was truly born of goodly parents – the other of whom is…
6) My Dad! I do not know a wiser, more intelligent man than my dad, nor one who is also as gentle and kind (if that is what fatherhood does to a man, then I want in!). Very often, my dad contributes a voice of incomparable reason to dispel confusion in my life and help me maintain my most important priorities. He’s done his best to shape me into a man (one can only do so much), and has taught me by word and deed to sacrifice for and unselfishly love his family. As a father, he has exemplified righteous priesthood leadership “by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy” (see Doctrine & Covenants 121:41-44).
7) Joseph Smith, Jr.: some people have built entire careers out of trying to assassinate this man’s character (and indeed, his message was and is a bold one, which some find threatening), but for me, it is exactly his character that I admire so much. I like to think that he and I share similar dispositions. A study of Joseph Smith’s life reveals him to have been, from an early age, prone to serious and sober reflection on the questions of the soul, yet endowed with a “native cheery temperament”. He possessed a unique blend of intellectual and spiritual depth and purpose and a certain earthy affability; some, expecting the austere demeanor of a Moses from a prophet of God, were unpleasantly surprised to find Joseph quite too approachable and gregarious upon first meeting him. Joseph Smith was no brooding introvert, nor was he merely a charismatic people-person – he was a courageous, self-sacrificing leader and prophet, entrusted with a sacred work and responsibility, but brimming with a love of all people and an eagerness for the company and well-being of all who were friends. I do not wish to stretch the comparison between he and I too far -certainly, I am not Joseph Smith-, but I see facets of myself, undeveloped as I am, in him. That gives me comfort and encouragement when I feel alone, uncertain, or misunderstood, but perhaps more importantly, it gives me an example to follow as I seek to grow.* (x5)
…and lastly, but most significantly,
8 ) Jesus Christ: All that is good and noble comes through Him. I have never met Him, and yet I see and feel His influence all around me – not always, and perhaps not even most of the time, but I have an assurance that He is closely involved in the details of our lives, whether or not we sense it (the trick, of course is to do our part to better sense and invite Him into our lives). He is my Savior and friend, who makes it possible for me to be cleaned, forgiven, and refined, shaped into someone new and holy. He has the power to heal us of all our infirmities and weaknesses, in the proper time and by the proper processes. His promises are sure: if we will simply trust and follow Him, we will have joy and ultimately eternal life. In the end, there is nothing as important as trusting and following Jesus Christ. I love Him, I want to be like Him, and I want to be with Him. He is my hero.
*One more (very distant) claim to fame: yesterday, thanks to a tip-off from a co-worker, I was able to see Mitt Romney through a cafe window, talking excitedly with some important-looking guys.
**Perhaps if I were truly closer to the action and prestige, and not just a distant intern, it would be harder to shrug off. But really, I haven’t had any substantial brushes with fame, and if I did, they would probably be pretty low-key and relatively unremarkable over all.
***My favorite quote from the article, in regards to a recent presidential photo-op: “Did you notice how they all leaned away from Jimmy Carter, the official Cootieman of former presidents? It was like high-school students to the new girl: “You can’t sit here, we’re the Most Popular table.”
****see “Some Thoughts on the Gospel and the Behavioral Sciences” by Neal A. Maxwell.
* (x5) For some very accessible insights and information on the life and teachings of Joseph Smith, see Joseph Smith the Prophet and The Life and Teachings of the Prophet Joseph, both by Truman G. Madsen.
In search of good conversation January 7, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Human Relationships.5 comments
Let it be known: I really like hearty conversation. Unfortunately, for some reason it is very hard to find in this world.
So, today on the way home from work on the train, I was fortunate enough to have a nice, friendly, and surprisingly satisfying conversation. Here’s what happened:
I was sitting behind a girl that I thought was pretty, but she was reading a book. Past experience trying to talk with people, especially pretty girls, reading things on the train has made me a little wary of trying to strike up conversation, as their motivation for reading is usually some combination of a) they are really digging their book and b) they don’t want to talk to you or anyone else (although it might be just you exclusively)*. Anyway, I kept trying to muster up the courage and boldness to talk with her, but in a way that wasn’t too bothersome (somehow being pleasantly bold is, I feel, the great challenge of approaching strangers), and just couldn’t do it. She was reading a book about flowers and looked like she was really into it**.
So my eyes started to wander in search of something I could comment on to bring up some conversation, with the book-reading girl or someone else (it’s really helpful to have some sort of neutral object or happening to comment on to start up conversation). Across the aisle, I saw a woman in uniform with a Seattle Seahawks lunchbox – I was born in Seattle and grew up in Portland! This was the “in” I was waiting for!
As soon as she turned in my direction to look at something, I asked if she was from the Pacific Northwest. It turned out she was and, because she was friendly, open, interested in talking, and we had interesting topics to discuss (east coast vs. west coast culture, her military experience, and her lunchbox), a very pleasant conversation ensued. In fact, the conversation just flowed, without any awkward pauses to speak of (an uncommon treat!). Soon enough, her stop came, and our conversation ended, on a rushed, albeit positive, note. I seriously doubt I’ll ever see her again, but I hope both she and I will have many more such pleasant encounters with people.
Afterwards, it left me wondering, with gratitude and curiosity rather than wistfulness and disappointment, why such seemingly chance but fulfilling interactions are so rare***? And why, when they do happen, are they so distinctly enjoyable? Perhaps they are a tender mercy shown to me by the Lord, who knows how much I love and appreciate being engaged with people and understands how deeply I experience the absence or deficiency of human contact and interaction. Any thoughts or related experiences, friends?
*One experience in particular sticks out in my mind – I saw a not-unattractive girl reading “Freakonomics” and I thought “Cool, that girl likes economics, she must be smart! And I’ve read that book, so I have an in!” Pleasantly but not without some boldness, I asked how she liked the book – she gave me a very brief, nondescript response, and as I hadn’t read the book in quite some time and she didn’t give me much to work with , I couldn’t come up with any sort of interesting comment to keep the interaction going. So it ended. Truthfully, I think she really wanted to read her book and really didn’t want to talk to me.
**Part of me wondered if her apparent absorption in her book was somewhat self-consciously affected because of the mysteriously handsome half-Asian guy eying her and her book from the seat behind. The egoist in me thinks that is precisely what it was
***unfortunately, they seem especially rare among the exceptionally pretty girls, which makes my chances of wooing and marrying an exceptionally pretty girl pretty slim (that, and many other reasons of course).
Goals for 2009 January 5, 2009
Posted by Bryce in Personal.3 comments
Well, 2008 certainly came and went in a hurry it seems like. Looking back, a whole lot happened – I spent time floundering in Sacramento (with good company, at least), briefly worked at a law firm, attended my nephew’s baptism, moved to DC (and promptly caught bronchitis), stressed a lot about school and career, decided not to pursue law, tried unsuccessfully to find paid internships, met a lot of cool people (many of them intelligent and lovely ladies), stressed more about school and career until finally settling on public policy and becoming more content with my current work situation, semi-bombed the GRE, stressed some more about dating, career, and financial stability (3 things which at times seemed pretty interrelated), and went home and had a fantastically relaxing and wonderful Christmas with my family back in Sacramento. Gratefully, things in my life are starting to coalesce, and I feel I am actually in a pretty good position to make goals for the upcoming year . What follows is my dangerously-still-growing list of goals for 2009, a number of which are macro-goals whose completion may be difficult to attain or determine, but are nonetheless priorities for me. Also, many of these are intertwined.
1) learn drums. It didn’t take too much of playing Rock Band to realize that playing the drums is really cool and fun. Neil Peart’s drum prowess was similarly convincing.
2) get into a good MPP program. Pretty self-explanatory. I’d be extra happy if I could do this without committing myself to colossal student debt.
3) be more relaxed and lighthearted. This one may strike some people as odd, as I am a characteristically lighthearted guy (too lighthearted, some might say). However, after some very trying months in DC, I feel that I need to make a conscious effort to develop a more relaxed, laughter-filled lifestyle.
4) consistent scripture study. Also pretty self-explanatory. I think and talk about the gospel all the time, but I feel that I’ve been shortchanging the Lord (and myself, obviously) in my inconsistency in studying His words.
5) up my style. This one is already under way, thanks in large part to my well-dressed roommates Dan and Matt and my fashion-conscious family members (thanks especially to Tiff for the generous infusion of China-made shirts. And thanks to Chairman Mao for laying the groundwork of China’s industrial might. It all starts with peasant-made steel! Mega-inside joke, which probably only Kyle will appreciate)
6) surround myself with people who help me improve and be happy. This one is similar to #3. Being without the safety net of nearby family members enjoyed while going to BYU (not to disregard Scott & Kristin in Delaware) has been a real test for me. It’s really helped me appreciate the necessity of being in close contact with good people. The pridefully independent side of me has had to take a backseat to this realization. Make no mistake, I still have plenty of prideful independence left over, but I am not chagrined to admit that I really need people – and if I really need people, why not make sure I choose some really good ones?
7) find 2 people for the missionaries to teach. Somewhat surprisingly, I’ve never set a goal like this as a non-missionary. I really hope I can exceed it!
8 ) be more practical and orderly. This one has been under way since graduating in 2007 and trying to make it on my own. I enjoyed a high degree of freedom and privilege as an undergrad, and thus could afford to be very metaphysical. It didn’t take long, however, to realize that deep thoughts truly don’t pay the bills in the real world, and that a clean, comfortable, and orderly lifestyle doesn’t create itself.
9) get my teeth fixed. I really need dental insurance and/or lots of extra cash.
10) create a home environment which invites the Spirit. This one has been weighing on me ever since moving into my current place back in August. Thankfully, my home environment has come a long way since then. Still, I recognize the need to better invite the Holy Spirit into my home through cleanliness, good music, plants that don’t wither and die on me, and non-ghetto furnishings. This is hard to do on a limited budget and while living with bachelors, but I know improvements can be made.
11) become a uniter of people. I mean this in the most non-cliche way possible: the world, starting with people like you and me, needs more unity. I find it especially bothersome that the LDS singles in the area aren’t more unified, although there are many factors which legitimize such a condition (i.e. geography, time constraints, the politics of dating, the transient DC culture, etc.). Anyway, I want to contribute to helping bring people together. This one could easily become overwhelming, so I’m gonna have to be smart about it.
12) write in my journal at least weekly. I still haven’t figured out which things to keep to my personal journal and which things are appropriate and useful to broadcast to the world on the internet, but blogging has definitely detracted from my journal writing. I’d appreciate anyone’s insights on balancing journal-writing with blogging.
13) chronicle my life with pictures. I finally joined the 21st century and got a digital camera. Now I have no excuse not to take pictures of lots of different things to spice this blog up!
14) get rid of junk. Related to #8. One thing that always depresses me about being home is the outrageous amount of junk we have stored away. According to Mom, a lot of it is mine, an assertion which I would like to dispute if we had better information (which is to say, if the actual boxes of stuff weren’t packed away like corpses in the catacombs – now there’s a pleasant thought!). But anyway, I’d like to sort out my old belongings, as well as curb my influx of new stuff.
15) simplify my life. Hard to measure, but definitely important! I’m unhappy when I have too much on my plate. Conversely, I’m unhappy when I have too little on my plate. In recent months, I have had no problem whatsoever with the latter, but definitely a problem with the former. Somehow, I need to figure out the ideal balance between being involved and being detached. Also, I have it on very good authority that I should be wise about my priorities, and place God and family first – it can be inferred that such prioritizing necessitates that I cut some fat, which might mean goodbye to #1
16) make my fasting more meaningful. This can be accomplished quite readily by the simple act of knowing when it is the first Sunday of the month.
17) pursue and practice wisdom. Not to toot my own horn too much, but I think I’ve traditionally done pretty well about this one, perhaps with a slight imbalance on the “pursuit” side. Still, I love wisdom, and love to acquire more. Applying it is more difficult, but also something for which I strive.
18 ) promote increased spirituality in self and others. This one might be a little vague, as well as covered in some of the other goals, but I thought it sounded good
19) exercise twice a week. I admit, I don’t like to exercise. I think it’s a waste of time which could be spent doing something more fun or productive. However, since I’m not a pro basketball player nor a paid Wii Fit athlete (do those even exist yet?), I should probably just bite the bullet and do something active on a regular basis. Perhaps I’ll revive my old racquetball interest.
Phew, that was a long list!
A fantastic talk by Elder Eyring December 18, 2008
Posted by Bryce in Christianity, Faith.add a comment
“A Child and a Disciple“, April 2003
This talk is incredible – if you are looking for guidance about sharing the gospel, read or listen to it.
