Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the Society category.
Funny characteristics you can get scholarships for
My search for scholarships on fastweb thus far has not yielded any awards. However, if I weren’t such an unremarkable left-handed, half-Chinese, libertarian-leaning, intellectually curious and creative Mormon from Oregon, and instead possessed the following characteristics, maybe I could get some sweet cash too:
Against the Death Penalty
Bilingual
Birth mother who has placed a child for adoption
Bisexual
Canadian Citizen
Clinically Overweight
Displaced Homemaker
Drug Conviction (Misdemeanor or Felony)
Farm, Raised On
Feminist
Foster Care Recipient
From Small Town <25,000 Population
Height: Women, 5′10″ or above; Men 6′2″ or above
Last Name Van Valkenburg
Mobile Home Park Resident
Parent
Parent of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
Public Assistance Recipient
Public Housing Resident
Residence Hall Resident (Dormitory)
Student, One of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
Transplant Candidate
Transplant Recipient
Undocumented Immigrant
Vegetarian
The Utility of Cute
Traditional gender roles discourage men’s open appreciation of cute things, and I think this is a shame and unnecessary. We all (women and men) have a tender, sensitive side, and a need to make candid, good-natured expressions of those tender feelings (this last part is essentially my definition of “cuteness”; if this seems too fuzzy, hopefully the remainder of my post will clarify what I mean*). Granted, personalities differ in their extent to which this is true – although there is probably no one who does not have some degree of appreciation for cuteness and its manifestations, I do think that such degrees vary widely between individuals**.
Never one to be easily pigeon-holed (or to conform to “unnecessary” expectations), I defy the classic male role a little bit in my appreciation for cute things. Ok, so some people probably think I take it too far (one friend, a reader of this blog actually – you know who you are 
-, mocked me for having a LOL cat application on my Facebook profile. And now it’s gone, although I still harbor LOL cat sympathies), and I take their opinions into consideration. Still, as far as I can tell there is no “true” and ideal cuteness preference – the conception and allowable degrees of “cute” differ across not only personalities but cultures as well (in Japan, for instance, my LOL cat appreciation would be standard fare, but I’d probably think their preference for cuteness is a bit too much***)
If you think that’s cute, check out this video at my sister’s blog. It’s probably the cutest movie ever made in the history of cute movies
As I see it, the cute is an extension of a good-natured love of life and people, which I consider an indispensable virtue and ingredient for a full and happy life, and something I would like to acquire more fully. As I have expressed several times before, I worry that living in DC is moving me further away from developing that enviable trait, good-natured love of life and people; the situation is complicated in part by the rigors of single life, concerns over future education and career, and the intrigues of dating (which in a way can be sort of like withholding love rather than increasing it – am I going about it the wrong way?).
My super-cute sister, Michelle, and her pet lizard Mo (short for “Mosiah”). This post is a great introduction to her (Michelle’s, not Mo’s) obvious cuteness and lovability. I find the “Five Lofty Aspirations” especially revealing (in a good way) and endearing.
Speaking again of gender roles, the onus of cuteness generally falls more on the side of women. Again, I think this is somewhat unnecessary and unfortunate. I can understand the reasoning behind expecting men to be strong, capable guardians and providers, and therefore expecting them to have their tender feelings (and thus cuteness**** or, more importantly, the good-natured love for life and people from which it springs) under wraps. I understand this, and believe me, I aspire to be such a strong, grounded man who can lead, protect, and provide for a family. Too often in practice, however, “keeping feelings under control” is actually “keeping feelings unspoken”. This is an important distinction, for the former typically views feelings as legitimate and inescapable facets of reality which can be controlled and even harnessed for good, whereas the former tends to view feelings as weaknesses and only relevant insofar as they can be minimized to better focus on the tasks at hand (a sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality which certainly has its merits, but can easily become a callous, even delusional head-in-the-sand approach if not kept in check).
On the flip side, and especially relevant for a place like DC, I suspect “cuteness” among women is more neglected here compared to other places. Lest I come across as an ungrateful, unduly negative naysayer, let me just openly admit that, in moving out to DC, I expected to see a tradeoff in cuteness for substance and strength among the ladies here, and in fact was seeking such a circumstance. For a number of reasons, I am attracted to girls (is that diminutive? I only mean “girl” in the sense that she is youthful like me. In substance, maturity, and character, I am looking for someone who is truly womanly) who are like valkyries (except the part about ushering dead men to the afterlife. I’m not quite ready for that yet). In other words, I am drawn to those who are strong in matters of principle and intellect, but who prefer and are well-suited to the role of compassionate nurturer and graceful protector and promoter of all things good and true. I am looking for someone who radiates not only strength of character and intellect but also tenderness, love, and a zest for life and the people in it – someone strong and able, yet approachable and warm, like my mom.
Three of my favorite people. I’m sorry I didn’t have a more flattering picture, Mom, but this is all I could find, and you do like to shop
Back to the original topic, I think cuteness is one of a number of manifestations of tenderness, love, and a zest for life and the people in it. Thus, it is an attractive quality for the deeper qualities it signifies. Although I appreciate and even to a degree admire ladies who are outwardly tough and capable, in the final analysis, I agree with Margaret Nadauld’s following remarks:
“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.”
(Margaret D. Nadauld, “The Joy of Womanhood,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 14–16)
Hypothetically, if I am correct about the roots from which cuteness springs, then it would be manifested among ladies who seek to follow the above counsel. Among LDS ladies, this is very much the case! Nevertheless, in a dreary, power-conscious place like DC, I would appreciate even more cuteness, but that is just me – I recognize that this is very largely a matter of preference, stemming from differences in personality, upbringing, and aspiration. But as for myself, I really appreciate cute and want more of it!
My final remark: I admittedly have plenty of room for improvement in developing whatever the male equivalent of cuteness is. Also, for all my talk of the “perfect woman”, I am well-aware that such an ideal woman, if ever encountered in this life, would certainly have little interest in this guy
*my dad, ever the voice of reason, suggested that words like “childlike” and “charming” offer a much simpler definition of “cute”, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to stick with my more convoluted definition. Lucky you!
**and this wouldn’t be a true Bryce personality observation without some comment on DC culture! Cuteness is a neglected virtue here. People here care a lot about self-consciously defending power and reputation, maintaining appearances, and keeping weaknesses locked up tightly (as if their existence can truly be hidden. Even in the conscious act of hiding them, we cannot help but unconsciously betray the fact that we have them). Good-naturedness, already too rare a trait, is almost entirely absent. It’s sad, isn’t it? And yet, the people for whom such a description is most fitting seem to be quite ignorant of their deficiency – which is great for them, not so great for the rest of us who must live and work with them :-/
***although their penchant for cute serves an important function for the Japanese psyche, I think. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or however the phrase goes – and the Japanese are hardly known for their lack of hard-work (c’mon, 6-day work weeks?! Doesn’t that violate some human right somewhere?). Without things like these
I imagine the Japanese would be faring quite poorly emotionally and economically. Look at the happy lady on the left – Hello Kitty is obviously doing something right! Yep, I just suggested that the world’s largest Hello Kitty statue is contributing to improving the general well-being of Japan. And I stand by that.
****you know, now that I think about it, “cuteness” doesn’t at all sound like it should ever be a masculine trait. It just sounds wrong. I do think there is an appropriate masculine analog to the feminine notion of “cuteness”, but I’m not sure what it should be called. Any ideas?
Where the happiness is
Just as I thought – things are happier out in the West! According to an extensive survey on well-being conducted by Gallup in connection with Healthways and America’s Health Insurance Plans, Utah, Hawaii, Wyoming, Colorado and Minnesota (go Kyle, you happy man!) top the list of happiest states, with West Virginia sulking at the very bottom (poor WV!). I wonder where Oregon, known for its gloomy weather, ranks? Also, I wonder about the findings for northern Virginia – I, for one, am not too happy about the living costs nor the culture of intensity and ambition (ok, this does appeal to me, but probably to a lesser extent than many others), but it’s quite possible that things really aren’t as bad as I sometimes think they are; behind all those stoic and somber faces I see every day may lie some truly exuberant spirits! (and I’ll admit, my conception of outward expressions of happiness may need to be expanded. One can be satisfied with life overall without necessarily wanting to shout it from the rooftops, as is my inclination)
Another interesting finding – but not really, because it almost goes without saying – was that wealth and happiness were highly correlated. This is yet another reason why I don’t want to be poor the rest of my life
Yet another reason why I love my Church!
Check out The Publicity Dilemma at the LDS Newsroom site. I simply cannot envision a better summary of the issue. Go Church!
Tradeoffs
This world is full of tradeoffs – diametric values, ideals, or positions whose increase seems to inevitably come at the expense of its opposite. What follows are a few of my favorites (which is to say, they are interesting and fairly relevant); what are some of yours?
Economics
Equity vs. Efficiency: Putting resources (human or material) to use in a way that optimizes productive output (high efficiency) generally leads to the unequal distribution of said output (low equity). Conversely, allocating resources in a more egalitarian manner, e.g. redistributing income across classes, or assigning people to a task indiscriminate of skill level (high equity) tends to lead to decreased productivity, e.g. the incentive of the most productive economic actors is hampered by their lessened enjoyment of the fruits of their labors, or lower total skill level applied towards a task (low efficiency), respectively.
Political Science
Freedom vs. Order: This one is pretty self-evident. The fewer restrictions placed on behavior, the more chaotic and disorderly things tends to be. Just look at any household with a disparate ratio of children to parenting presence.
Freedom vs. Equality: This is one I had never considered until I read it in one of my brother’s old political science textbooks recently. The idea behind this is that a government/society which seeks to promote equality generally does so at the expense of individual freedom (e.g. affirmative action in the work place curbs the freedom of the employer to make its own hiring decisions). I’m still thinking this tradeoff through – it seems to be based on the premise that freedom invariably leads to inequal treatment of others, but this may or may not actually be true, depending on your definition of “equal”. The tendency in today’s debates is to frame “equality” as absolute sameness, which I think is absurd and impossible, not to mention not the only possible definition of “equality”.
Personality Psychology (it’s no secret that this topic is one of my favorites, but I offer this tradeoff by way of subjective observation, not judgment)
Depthiness vs. Upbeatfulness: Emotional and/or intellectual depth and sophistication tends to preclude being lighthearted and fun (when you’re focused on the weightier matters of the cosmos, jocularity can seem distant and disingenuous). On the flip side, what’s the use of sitting around ruminating in your ivory tower when there’s so much life to enjoy!
Christianity
Justice vs. Mercy: The quintessential Christian dilemma, this dichotmoy is, I believe, reflected throughout various facets of life, including the areas above. But it can be troublingly problematic. If we believe in a God who adheres strictly to divine standards and can neither overlook any bad behavior nor leave unrewarded the acts of the true and faithful (justice), can we believe that that same God can also forgive us when we inevitably fail to live those high standards, if not fall far, far short (mercy)? Stephen E. Robinson, author of “Believing Christ” said it best: the answer is a resounding “YES”! Jesus Christ, as the mediator of all mankind, provides a way for the demands of justice to be met while offering mercy to those who truly want Him to be their savior. Strangely and sadly enough, there are some who would gladly take mercy, but only if it came with no strings attached; such people, I think, fail to grasp the significance of either justice or mercy. But the most important thing here is that Jesus Christ makes both justice and mercy fully efficacious and coexistent without requiring any sort of compromise which would render either divine standard arbitrary and fatally unreliable. What an inestimable blessing!
(as an added temporal benefit, this divine reconciliation of opposing ideals gives me hope that the other above mentioned tradeoffs may also somehow be settled satisfactorily.)
Any thoughts or tradeoffs of your own to share? Please do!
Wise words from Neal A. Maxwell
A fantastic talk given by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at BYU about some of the things we can expect to see (and are currently seeing) in the latter days, and a discussion of doctrines which ought to give some encouragement and perspective on it all.
Halloween trends reflect poorly on the state of society
Today, I was talking with our office’s front desk security guard, and he remarked how parents are increasingly taking their children to private Halloween parties rather than go out trick-or-treating as a matter of safety. My immediate thought was “How sad is that? Our society is such that people have to hold their own isolated parties just to keep their kids safe on Halloween.” This was just one more reminder of 1) the perils of the latter-days, where dangerous weirdos (I don’t mean this facetiously, but can’t think of a better word) threaten the safety of children and 2) the need for good, upstanding, friendly neighbors. We, as Latter-day Saints, or as honorable, principled, citizens, ought to strive to be those neighbors! Also, I can’t help but think that the ever-intensifying push for more rights somehow encourages the lack of restraint which I believe leads to the cankering and polluting of human souls and the coarsening of society. I don’t consider myself a political conservative per se, but I do think that our society, blinded by the drama and glitter of “progressivism”, is a little too eager to throw away old values, and then are surprised when it’s not safe to take their kids out any more. I realize I am dealing in vague generalities here, and that I have not exactly made a slam-dunk argument linking expansion of individual rights and the erosion of cultural values to increased sociopathy (although I know that many have tried to do just that – which I applaud and am always interested to hear about), but it is my gut feeling. Although I’d have a hard time convincing anyone based on a gut feeling, for me, at least, it is an epistemology I have grown to trust. Perhaps when I run into some more convincing evidence, I will post on this subject again.
For those who care…a Bryce update
I’m going to be blunt: life in DC is wearing on me. This is not to say that there aren’t many things which I like about living here, because there are plenty. However, for probably a number of reasons, I’m not as enthusiastic about this place as I was a few months ago. Perhaps this is to be expected – most things in life tend to lose their novelty and luster as they become more familiar – but I think there is more to it. Although my employment status is definitely a significant factor in how I experience life generally (for the record, I am grateful to even have a job, and especially to have one that is fairly relaxed and involves some cool people), I think the biggest source of my discontentment is the culture and people of DC.
You may be thinking “Wow, waging war against everyone in a major metropolitan area would wear on anyone. You should chill out, dude”, so let me be more specific. What I have a hard time with is how political people are here. You may now be thinking “No duh, you’re in the nation’s capital”, and while it is obviously true that such a place would attract politically-minded people, I mean “political” in a broader sense; generally speaking, the culture here emphasizes power, achievement, and appearances. In short, it’s a playground for red personalities. As someone who, historically, has been passionately disinterested in power and appearances but cared a great deal about achievement, I am a bit uneasy in such an intense, self-conscious environment, even though I was initially drawn to it for the sake of achievement. Throw in the fact that I have tempered my ambition and perfectionism – or am at least attempting to do so – with lightheartedness, foresight, and concern for the needs of others, and compare it to the norm here – business-minded, short-sighted, materialistic, and busy (usually much too busy to slow down and really connect with people) – and you may see why this is a somewhat uncomfortable fit for me.
Fortunately, my perceptions do not necessarily match with reality. The reality is, I’m sure, that there are plenty of like-minded people here, notwithstanding the great pull this area has for stiff and power-conscious people. The trick is finding such people, and making the best of whatever circumstances I find myself in. In the end, life can and should be analyzed and pondered upon, but it must also be lived. In fact, that is the fun part!
An honest and thoughtful article about California’s Proposition 8
Below is a link to an Op-Ed in the LA Times about the institution of marriage and California’s Proposition 8. In it, the author makes some very good arguments, even though (not surprisingly) they were poorly received by the majority of online respondents.
Protecting marriage to protect children – by David Blankenhorn
Still alive – plus, some interesting books to consider reading
The past few weeks have been pretty tumultuous over here for a number of reasons, primarily moving to a new house, poverty (relatively speaking, of course), and having no internet (!!!!), but now I’m back with a very important message, namely: I want to let you all know what books I think are worthwhile. After all, the implication of being well-read (i.e. showing interest in books) is almost as good as actually being well-read. So here are a few good books I’d read, or at least sample if I had the time.
1)”Dave Barry’s Money Secrets – Like: Why is There A Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?”
I admit, I’m actually sort of reading this one, and it makes me laugh a lot. Hydralisk, this is one you should find on tape/CD if you can. It will help you shift some paradigms and revolutionize outside the box, or something like that.
2) “Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi
When I first ran into this one at the book store, I got a little excited – “A well-researched, non-gushing book about Barack Obama?! How much is this? I’ll take 2.” I skimmed the preface, and thought it seemed pretty even-keeled and objective (and for the record, the author is not a Republican, but a Constitutionalist). However, when I checked out what wikipedia, the bastion of e-truth, had to say, my faith was shaken – apparently Corsi has taken some liberties with the facts, or else just drawn conclusions many didn’t want to hear (or, more likely, something in the middle). So anyway, I’m a little more skeptical of the book. However, it is on The New York Times bestsellers list, and, like so many people in this country, I take the New York Times more seriously than a lot of things. It can do no wrong. Ever. Seriously, though, I’m intrigued to hear what Corsi has to say about Chairman Barack’s supposed cult of personality.
3) “The Definitive Guide to Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander
Another book I happily bumped into at the store the other day. Flipping through it, I was surprised at how many people the author and I both seem to know Lander has a great way of poking fun at white people (or, as one of my white co-workers candidly pointed out, a certain subset of white people: the college-educated, left-leaning ones), and I admire his ability to do so in a way that is simultaneously incisive and good-humored.
Also, you can check out the official website, stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.
