Funny characteristics you can get scholarships for
My search for scholarships on fastweb thus far has not yielded any awards. However, if I weren’t such an unremarkable left-handed, half-Chinese, libertarian-leaning, intellectually curious and creative Mormon from Oregon, and instead possessed the following characteristics, maybe I could get some sweet cash too:
Against the Death Penalty
Bilingual
Birth mother who has placed a child for adoption
Bisexual
Canadian Citizen
Clinically Overweight
Displaced Homemaker
Drug Conviction (Misdemeanor or Felony)
Farm, Raised On
Feminist
Foster Care Recipient
From Small Town <25,000 Population
Height: Women, 5′10″ or above; Men 6′2″ or above
Last Name Van Valkenburg
Mobile Home Park Resident
Parent
Parent of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
Public Assistance Recipient
Public Housing Resident
Residence Hall Resident (Dormitory)
Student, One of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
Transplant Candidate
Transplant Recipient
Undocumented Immigrant
Vegetarian
The Utility of Cute
Traditional gender roles discourage men’s open appreciation of cute things, and I think this is a shame and unnecessary. We all (women and men) have a tender, sensitive side, and a need to make candid, good-natured expressions of those tender feelings (this last part is essentially my definition of “cuteness”; if this seems too fuzzy, hopefully the remainder of my post will clarify what I mean*). Granted, personalities differ in their extent to which this is true – although there is probably no one who does not have some degree of appreciation for cuteness and its manifestations, I do think that such degrees vary widely between individuals**.
Never one to be easily pigeon-holed (or to conform to “unnecessary” expectations), I defy the classic male role a little bit in my appreciation for cute things. Ok, so some people probably think I take it too far (one friend, a reader of this blog actually – you know who you are 
-, mocked me for having a LOL cat application on my Facebook profile. And now it’s gone, although I still harbor LOL cat sympathies), and I take their opinions into consideration. Still, as far as I can tell there is no “true” and ideal cuteness preference – the conception and allowable degrees of “cute” differ across not only personalities but cultures as well (in Japan, for instance, my LOL cat appreciation would be standard fare, but I’d probably think their preference for cuteness is a bit too much***)
If you think that’s cute, check out this video at my sister’s blog. It’s probably the cutest movie ever made in the history of cute movies
As I see it, the cute is an extension of a good-natured love of life and people, which I consider an indispensable virtue and ingredient for a full and happy life, and something I would like to acquire more fully. As I have expressed several times before, I worry that living in DC is moving me further away from developing that enviable trait, good-natured love of life and people; the situation is complicated in part by the rigors of single life, concerns over future education and career, and the intrigues of dating (which in a way can be sort of like withholding love rather than increasing it – am I going about it the wrong way?).
My super-cute sister, Michelle, and her pet lizard Mo (short for “Mosiah”). This post is a great introduction to her (Michelle’s, not Mo’s) obvious cuteness and lovability. I find the “Five Lofty Aspirations” especially revealing (in a good way) and endearing.
Speaking again of gender roles, the onus of cuteness generally falls more on the side of women. Again, I think this is somewhat unnecessary and unfortunate. I can understand the reasoning behind expecting men to be strong, capable guardians and providers, and therefore expecting them to have their tender feelings (and thus cuteness**** or, more importantly, the good-natured love for life and people from which it springs) under wraps. I understand this, and believe me, I aspire to be such a strong, grounded man who can lead, protect, and provide for a family. Too often in practice, however, “keeping feelings under control” is actually “keeping feelings unspoken”. This is an important distinction, for the former typically views feelings as legitimate and inescapable facets of reality which can be controlled and even harnessed for good, whereas the former tends to view feelings as weaknesses and only relevant insofar as they can be minimized to better focus on the tasks at hand (a sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality which certainly has its merits, but can easily become a callous, even delusional head-in-the-sand approach if not kept in check).
On the flip side, and especially relevant for a place like DC, I suspect “cuteness” among women is more neglected here compared to other places. Lest I come across as an ungrateful, unduly negative naysayer, let me just openly admit that, in moving out to DC, I expected to see a tradeoff in cuteness for substance and strength among the ladies here, and in fact was seeking such a circumstance. For a number of reasons, I am attracted to girls (is that diminutive? I only mean “girl” in the sense that she is youthful like me. In substance, maturity, and character, I am looking for someone who is truly womanly) who are like valkyries (except the part about ushering dead men to the afterlife. I’m not quite ready for that yet). In other words, I am drawn to those who are strong in matters of principle and intellect, but who prefer and are well-suited to the role of compassionate nurturer and graceful protector and promoter of all things good and true. I am looking for someone who radiates not only strength of character and intellect but also tenderness, love, and a zest for life and the people in it – someone strong and able, yet approachable and warm, like my mom.
Three of my favorite people. I’m sorry I didn’t have a more flattering picture, Mom, but this is all I could find, and you do like to shop
Back to the original topic, I think cuteness is one of a number of manifestations of tenderness, love, and a zest for life and the people in it. Thus, it is an attractive quality for the deeper qualities it signifies. Although I appreciate and even to a degree admire ladies who are outwardly tough and capable, in the final analysis, I agree with Margaret Nadauld’s following remarks:
“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.”
(Margaret D. Nadauld, “The Joy of Womanhood,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 14–16)
Hypothetically, if I am correct about the roots from which cuteness springs, then it would be manifested among ladies who seek to follow the above counsel. Among LDS ladies, this is very much the case! Nevertheless, in a dreary, power-conscious place like DC, I would appreciate even more cuteness, but that is just me – I recognize that this is very largely a matter of preference, stemming from differences in personality, upbringing, and aspiration. But as for myself, I really appreciate cute and want more of it!
My final remark: I admittedly have plenty of room for improvement in developing whatever the male equivalent of cuteness is. Also, for all my talk of the “perfect woman”, I am well-aware that such an ideal woman, if ever encountered in this life, would certainly have little interest in this guy
*my dad, ever the voice of reason, suggested that words like “childlike” and “charming” offer a much simpler definition of “cute”, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to stick with my more convoluted definition. Lucky you!
**and this wouldn’t be a true Bryce personality observation without some comment on DC culture! Cuteness is a neglected virtue here. People here care a lot about self-consciously defending power and reputation, maintaining appearances, and keeping weaknesses locked up tightly (as if their existence can truly be hidden. Even in the conscious act of hiding them, we cannot help but unconsciously betray the fact that we have them). Good-naturedness, already too rare a trait, is almost entirely absent. It’s sad, isn’t it? And yet, the people for whom such a description is most fitting seem to be quite ignorant of their deficiency – which is great for them, not so great for the rest of us who must live and work with them :-/
***although their penchant for cute serves an important function for the Japanese psyche, I think. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or however the phrase goes – and the Japanese are hardly known for their lack of hard-work (c’mon, 6-day work weeks?! Doesn’t that violate some human right somewhere?). Without things like these
I imagine the Japanese would be faring quite poorly emotionally and economically. Look at the happy lady on the left – Hello Kitty is obviously doing something right! Yep, I just suggested that the world’s largest Hello Kitty statue is contributing to improving the general well-being of Japan. And I stand by that.
****you know, now that I think about it, “cuteness” doesn’t at all sound like it should ever be a masculine trait. It just sounds wrong. I do think there is an appropriate masculine analog to the feminine notion of “cuteness”, but I’m not sure what it should be called. Any ideas?
Where the happiness is
Just as I thought – things are happier out in the West! According to an extensive survey on well-being conducted by Gallup in connection with Healthways and America’s Health Insurance Plans, Utah, Hawaii, Wyoming, Colorado and Minnesota (go Kyle, you happy man!) top the list of happiest states, with West Virginia sulking at the very bottom (poor WV!). I wonder where Oregon, known for its gloomy weather, ranks? Also, I wonder about the findings for northern Virginia – I, for one, am not too happy about the living costs nor the culture of intensity and ambition (ok, this does appeal to me, but probably to a lesser extent than many others), but it’s quite possible that things really aren’t as bad as I sometimes think they are; behind all those stoic and somber faces I see every day may lie some truly exuberant spirits! (and I’ll admit, my conception of outward expressions of happiness may need to be expanded. One can be satisfied with life overall without necessarily wanting to shout it from the rooftops, as is my inclination)
Another interesting finding – but not really, because it almost goes without saying – was that wealth and happiness were highly correlated. This is yet another reason why I don’t want to be poor the rest of my life
Yet another reason why I love my Church!
Check out The Publicity Dilemma at the LDS Newsroom site. I simply cannot envision a better summary of the issue. Go Church!
My Tucker Carlson Encounter
American Enterprise Institute held its 2009 Annual Dinner tonight, honoring Charles Murray with the Irving Kristol Award. But the really important news is that I saw, nay, was in close proximity to Tucker Carlson!
That’s right, him——-> 
Now, I am not a card-carrying Republican, but in substance I definitely lean right politically. I think free markets basically promote prosperity across the board, that individual choice (including the choice of how to spend our hard-earned money) should be infringed upon as little as possible, that our government ought to try to do much less and do it much better, and that we ought to exercise a great deal of caution and restraint when evaluating our policies and values. In my personal style, however, I’m pretty free-spirited, emotionally sensitive, idealistic, and relatively disinterested in maintaining order – I tend to value freedom more. In other words, my style is somewhat more liberal than the substance of my political views (but actually, my style is probably more libertarian than it is liberal). Anyway, what I’m getting at is that I don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye with avowed conservatives, even if I basically agree with them, but Tucker Carlson is a conservative-ish guy whose style I really appreciate. A lot of it has to do with his sense of humor, I think. He just seems like a cool guy, someone I’d want to sit around a dinner table and joke with. Well, tonight I almost had my chance!
So, at the beginning of tonight’s dinner we were each given a seating booklet to know where to sit. As the booklet basically doubled as a guest list, I curiously perused it to see if there were any famous people in attendance that I’d recognize (admittedly, I’m not very in-the-know politically, so it was a little bit of a long shot). Well, as predicted, there were very few names I recognized – but Tucker Carlson I knew! Interns like myself, of course, had previously been discouraged from making fools of ourselves by seeking photo-ops and autographs from famous people, and even without that admonition I was not eager to just barge in on a stranger and try to strike up a rapport . So I didn’t give a meeting with Tucker too much thought, and just enjoyed my time with the other interns and their guests. Later on in the evening when it was acceptable for people to be up and walking around the dining hall, I made my rounds in search of DC celebrities to gawk at, and came up empty-handed. No Tucker. Still, when it came time to call it a night, I bid farewell to my friends, and headed for the door to the stairway without any further thought about meeting Tucker Carlson.
As I passed through the door, however, I turned back to see if I had missed saying goodbye to anyone I knew (and, frankly, to take one more look at all the well-dressed and, in many cases, attractive ladies). Two men passed by me through the doorway, and I smiled politely at them as I scanned the room. Having had my last look at the festivities, I turned to the stairs, ascending just a few feet behind the two men who had passed just seconds before. Well, it took me about a second to recognize the voice of the taller man as they were talking – that’s right, Tucker Carlson! “This could be my chance, don’t blow it!”, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, I really didn’t have an “in” with them, so I just smiled to myself and tried to act like I wasn’t secretly pleased to be in the presence of a famous guy I think is cool. I swear that he turned to look at me once or twice (perhaps wondering “Who is this strange, smiling kid behind us?”), but his attention was soon enough diverted by his encountering other friends. Not wanting to be creepy, I just walked past, as he made some joke about libertarian gatherings with his friends. Soon enough, our crossed paths diverged, and I was left to contemplate on my brush with a famous cool guy.
It’s too bad that he and I didn’t at least get to have some sort of verbal exchange. But even if I had gotten a chance to say something, it probably wouldn’t have been too witty or impressive; most of my conversational energy had already been used up that evening and, being both weary and an introvert, I needed some time to rest before I could again engage in banter. Also, he looked like he had had a few drinks, and in my experience (with others who are drinking, that is), alcohol tends to dilute the quality of conversation anyway. Then again, I wasn’t looking for a heart-to-heart, I just wanted to meet him! Oh well, another time, I guess. I hear he’s working at the Cato Institute these days…
A Manifesto
Yes, I do still write in this blog, but have been sans internet for the last (exceptionally long and grueling) week. And now it’s back! Ahhhhhh…
So, today was remarkable for some liberating experiences and ideas I had. You see, for the past few months I have felt like a captive to my circumstances. Stuck in between a lack of marketable skills and near-certain grad school in the fall (during which I intend not to work), I have been in a strange sort of employment limbo. Currently, I am interning at a think tank (interning anywhere is a great way to stay impoverished), and doing tutoring on the side. It is exhausting, perhaps emotionally more than anything else, as my expenses keep piling up and my income stays pretty low. It has definitely affected my spirits and my happiness, and probably the quality of my relationships as well (I always try to put a high priority on keeping these healthy, but when you’re stretched too thin, some facets of life inevitably suffer).
I do think these circumstances, while far from ideal, are fairly short-term… or are they? My parents have recently expressed concern not just for my current poorness, but for my possible long-term poorness as well. “Not to worry,” I tell them, “with a public policy degree you can work in the private sector, too!” (never mind that I have always found such a notion basically unappealing). Looking at the employment data some schools have provided prospective students like myself, it is certainly true that those people coming out of a Masters of Public Policy program who work in the private sector make pretty good money, and those who work in the public sector fare pretty well too (no comment on those in non-profit). However, such practical concerns have gotten me thinking more critically about my career plans, and I am starting to wonder if I have made a mistake about choosing public policy. I don’t think I have, necessarily. However, as I have languished as a poor intern, subservient to “the man”, I have come to a few conclusions, the consequences of which I am still figuring out.
Conclusion 1: Life is better when you have money. Or perhaps I should put it this way – not having money generally makes life harder. Now, this may be glaringly obvious to the majority of people reading this, but for me it has taken some time, and some pretty indigent circumstances, to sink in. Half of my heritage is of the “genteel poor” variety – well-educated but not particularly rich. And my dad, never one to let an astute observation gather dust, has often noted the Goodwin tendency to be “satisficers” rather than “maximizers” (my mom perhaps being an outlier in this regard. Chairman Mao would be very proud of her “redness” – her tenacity and indomitable fighting spirit). What I am getting at is that concerns about money and material things have tended to rank a little low on my list of priorities – but that is changing quite rapidly. And the truth is, the more I think about that wife and children I want so much, the more attractive having money becomes, because I want them to have security and nice things (reasonably nice things, that is. Frugality is not going out of style with me any time soon).
Conclusion 2: Having a surplus allows me to bless others. This is related to the above conclusion. Recently in an LDS institute class, I learned about the Law of Consecration which, in past practice at least, has entailed being a good and productive steward over your private property, and willingly giving your surplus (whatever you’ve produced beyond your needs) to an honest, wise, and inspired Church leader to deliberately dispense to those in need. When practiced faithfully and righteously, it leads to more productive outcomes than socialism, and more equitable outcomes than capitalism. Historically, my disinterest in accumulating wealth has stemmed in part from a desire to focus instead on the immaterial needs of people – needing to be loved, to have friends, to be understood and supported emotionally and spiritually, to be encouraged and urged forward, and even to be enlivened and entertained. Although I am not abandoning my efforts to address these needs in my service to others, I also recognize the importance of addressing their material needs (and frankly, I do think the two types of needs are connected in somewhat subtle but important ways). Simply put, if I want to help people materially, and I do, I must first have my own surplus of material things to offer.
Conclusion 3: I have been given certain talents and abilities and should not let them go unused in pursuit of my righteous desires (in fact, without utilizing them, my biggest, most daring desires are probably unattainable). Currently, the American economy bites, and it appears it will get much worse before it gets better. Nevertheless, I still believe opportunities abound here like almost nowhere else. The trick, or a trick, at least, is to muster the ingenuity to come up with some good or service which I am uniquely qualified to offer which carries value in the marketplace. Thus, although my current career plan, a default of sorts, is to do policy research and analysis, I’m thinking it’s probably not my final career destination by a long shot. In fact, for the first time ever, I am seriously considering adding business to my educational plate and even, at the urging of my parents, am re-considering pursuing law (but I still get the feeling that, as a lawyer, I would feel confined and unhappy, and I worry that certain of my unique talents would be more of a hindrance than an advantage). I believe that a business background would open up a lot of options, a law degree also, but to a lesser extent. And I think options, or rather, the freedom to innovate is especially important to a guy like me. But who knows? For all my big talk, perhaps I will end up a bureaucrat behind some desk, yet somehow (hopefully!) find a relatively fulfilling way to use my talents for good while also providing well for a family. I am reluctant to be too idealistic when faced with the pragmatic concerns of some day raising a family; I am definitely an optimist, but cautiously so
My manifesto, in summary, is this: I am going to be more bold and more practical in developing and advancing my educational and career goals. Also, I am going to stop being so darn poor!
